I love my children. They are all unique and interesting individuals and they seem to love me, too. That is a very happy thing for me as they are all my Dreams Come True. They know what I mean when I say that. I had to go halfway around the world to get them, but I knew in my heart since I was ten years old that that is how I would become a mother. Somehow, God put it on my heart, that desire, that knowledge that my babies would come to me from somewhere else. It never mattered to me that I didn’t become pregnant, and I hope it never matters to them that they didn’t “…grow under my heart, but in it.”
Bad Mother on Mother’s Day…
See, my mom died recently; well, it’s almost a year now. She went to Heaven on May 17, 2007. I really can’t believe it, even though I watched her through the dying process. It’s like, other people’s moms die, not mine. My mom and I talk about things like that, we don’t actually experience those losses. Of course, I don’t honestly mean to imply that I am above losing a loved one to death. In fact, I’d always, always worried about it. But when it finally came to pass for me, when it became obvious that she was not going to get well but in fact, would die, I felt oddly…accepting about it all. I did not anticipate that I would have endured her dying in the way that I did. I wonder if it’s because I was no longer young; I turned 50 just a few days before she left us. For sure, I did not think she would die at the tender age of 74, I really thought she had many years left in her. Our relationship was still very much mother-daughter, complete with her telling me what-for if she felt like it and me feeling all offended by it. It hadn’t yet shifted to my becoming concerned about her and gradually becoming a caregiving daughter as happens when one’s parents age.
I have always been scornful of the franchising of America. It’s like everywhere you go, in Anycity, USA, there they are, laid out in similar form in strip malls from Centennial, Colorado to Jacksonville, Florida. Recently I’ve been studying the franchise business model. With a heavy heart. We’ve had career changes that have caused us to investigate other business choices and that has included the franchise.
A fun time at one of my favorite places…the neighborhood bookstore. Yes, we have one of those old fashioned, independent, neighborhood storefront bookstores. It’s the Bookmark in Atlantic Beach, Florida. My daughter and I went to meet three smart young authors who pen novels for young women. They were making a stop on a promo tour for a new novel they’d written collaboratively. Oh, to be one of them! I’d settle for owning the bookstore but sadly, it’s not for sale. So, third choice, only choice, really, I showed up, sat in the first seat, daughter in tow, and shelled out about $42 for the privilege of owning signed copies of each of their individually authored novels for the teen set. Of course they appeal to me as well. Why not?