Today is All Saints Day, and as I reflect on our priest’s homily theme this morning, I know we have a saint in our midst. For the past few weeks I’ve been thinking about how to tell him what I recognize and appreciate about him, and All Saints Day seems like an appropriate time to do it.
We aren’t to regard saints as perfect beings. Only Christ, and His Mother, were that. The saints of the Catholic Church were men and women who were (surprise!) just like us but strove to emulate Christ in their lives and actions and did so in extraordinary ways. The hundreds of saints whose life stories we know show a variety of lives and personalities, and different paths to their sanctification. We, all of us, are encouraged to be saintly, too. Why not?
Real saints don’t look for the glory, broadcast their good works or expect recognition: they do what they do because it’s right. Announcing one’s own good deeds undermines the act of doing good. An everyday saint just lives and works the life that they have, and within that context, in all their interactions, make choices of a giving heart.
I’m not talking about saints as in, “oh, my mother was a saint,” or as a way of describing a person’s pious behavior. I’m thinking of someone who just lives his faith everyday and makes choices that are congruent with his beliefs. The person I’m writing about has supported his causes in demonstrable ways; I admire this greatly. But it is his interaction with us that has been truly remarkable. Yet it’s been quiet; no one beyond us will ever understand the extent to which he helped us, and lately I’ve been mulling over what I can possibly say to express my gratitude. I’ve thanked him before, but at this point, a thank-you-note feels trite, a letter is apt to ramble on for far too long and try his patience, and a phone call wouldn’t create the permanent record, which is important for me to do.
In a time where the phrase I’ve got your back is likely to mean “as long as it’s in my best interest,” or, “i’ve got your back, and there’s a knife in it…” our friend has demonstrated a support that transcended what most people would be willing to give. And certainly, we didn’t expect the extent of the support he gave, nor would we have thought any less of him had he not done what did. Our relationship with him would have remained positive. But he extended himself for reasons I can speculate on that stem from his strong moral center. I’d like him to know that I never thought it was something he should do; no. But it was the act of doing, even while he did not have to, that makes me regard him with saintly qualities. See, no one will really know what he did for us, nor will we be able to reveal it. Oftentimes, donors and major supporters are feted and honored for their beneficence; but it is the private, quiet sort of support, the under-the-radar stuff, when you see the full measure of a person’s character.
We met him in his later years after he’d raised his children and had his important career both in public service and private industry. He and his good wife befriended us; we are their childrens’ age. We were ebullient together at the start of our relationship, and then the plans we’d made unravelled, to our mutual dismay and disappointment. We could have left it there, but then he stood up and stated that what had happened was wrong (we agreed) and that we needed to make it right. He was the captain, it was his ship, and he insisted we make the journey and further, make ourselves at home onboard. At the various ports-of-call he never said, “You know what, I’m tired of this. I only meant to cruise the islands, not the world; let’s call it a day, and here are your tickets home.” We wouldn’t have blamed him if he did because when a journey gets to be an interminable one, other things in one’s life change, too, and become more pressing. But he kept us on board, didn’t abandon the journey although I’m guessing he’d have liked to, and let us remain his guests. It really was unbelievable.
In the past few years we’d been shocked by the avarice of others, and what people will do to others in pursuit of their gain. You see, what our friend did for us was to show us that there are good people who are willing to go to extreme lengths too, on the side of what’s right.
The dishonest and untrustworthy are out there, and we’ve come up against plenty of them in the recent years. So it’s been an astounding display of generosity and support from our friend that not only helped us, but showed us how good people live. It is proof that some people do stand up for right and through their actions, they will not give over to wrong. The real takeaway here, for me, is that knowing that the phrase, “I’ve got your back,” has been restored. We were the little guy and he stood for us. He was steadfast and strong and his friendship repaired something that had been broken, which he probably doesn’t realize, because all of that is woven into our own tapestry, and he was only a part of it. But in the end, such an important part, for his role has given us the moral of the story.
I know all of this reads as quite vague and wordy, but the exercise of writing this, especially on All Saints Day, has been an important thing for me to do. Perhaps this will be my way of paying tribute to him? I am smiling inwardly at that thought of it, though, knowing how he’d scoff if I suggested that he read my blog.
